Despite my seemingly empty promises, I have not vanished from the face of the earth. There will be more mind-expanding, earth-shattering, nobel-prize-quality, world-changing, hyphenated-word-described written works of art to come.
Don’t touch that dial. The mouse and keyboard you may caress to your heart’s content.
If you’re looking for something wonderful to read in the meantime, try a book. Short of that, internet writing doesn’t get much better than Killing Batteries.